"Reflections on Prayer"

What I want to talk about today is, for most ministers, the easiest of topics, but for Unitarian Universalist ministers it’s a tough subject: that is, the notion of prayer and its value in everyday life. The fact is that many if not most UU’s are not only indifferent to the possibilities that come from prayer, many UU’s are actually hostile to the very concept.

Image by Tim Hill from Pixabay

In truth, prayer has been at the focal point of ritual and practice in every major world religion for over 10,000 years. A lot of UU’s do not believe in prayer because they view it as a superstitious practice which has no basis in logic or reason. In fact, mention the word prayer to most UU’s and it conjures up in their mind visions of some Bible thumping preacher calling for all sinners to pray in order to avoid the fires of hell. (And, oh by the way, a generous donation to the preacher can pave a new path away from the road to Satan’s fiery furnace).

A lot of people are also skeptical about the value of prayer, because as children they were taught to pray to God in order to seek “his” assistance. If you want to get an A on the test, pray to God. If you want to get that new toy, pray to God. If you want to avoid punishment, pray to God. The trouble is that those of us who have employed these methods generally have had little or no success.

As people grow older and encounter new kinds of human problems we hear ministers and priests calling us to pray. “If your child is sick, pray to God and “he” will heal her.” If your relationship is falling apart, pray to God and seek “his” help. If you’ve lost your job and are in financial crisis, pray and all will be well.

The problem is that a lot of the time, things do not get well. Despite prayer, even a lot of prayer, we often see little change in outcomes. In consequence people reason the ineffectiveness of prayer in one of three ways:

First, when prayer doesn’t seem to be working, many people find the fault in themselves. “God is not answering my prayers because I am not faithful enough, or I am a bad person, or I am not praying hard enough.” People who follow this way of thinking sometimes find reinforcement for their self-blame when they talk to priests, ministers and rabbis. “You’re right, you have to try harder,” says the parish priest.

Or perhaps they have seen other people who “had their prayers answered”. “God answered my prayers and saved my marriage.” If a person believes that this is truly possible, what are they to believe is happening when God will not answer their prayers. The obvious conclusion is that they are not good people or they are not faithful enough.

The second kind of reaction that occurs when people pray reverently for something and nothing happens is to reject their faith. Sometimes the most “religious of people”, that is those who practice the rituals of their religion and embrace its ideas, turn completely away from their religion when it is perceived to have failed them. When tragedy strikes and prayers don’t work, they become cynical if not spiteful toward their faith and religion. “It’s all nothing but a lot of B.S.” they say.

Now, this kind of reaction is a relatively new phenomenon. A lot of prayers haven’t been working for thousands of years, but people seldom turned away from their religion in centuries past. Why? Well because, in the West at least, to turn away from your religion what a sure way to find yourself on the way to Satan’s playground. Better to continue to pray and hope for the best. Besides maybe your prayers might be answered in the heavenly paradise. Who’s to know?

But since the Age of Enlightenment and the rise of Universalism in western religion, there is less fear from hellfire, so when prayers don’t work, some people reject the very notion of prayer and lump it together with all things superstitious. We proudly assert from our lofty throne of scientific rationalism that it’s all a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and prescientific illogic. Prayer is for fools and wishful thinkers. I’m certainly not one of those kind of people we say to ourselves with confidence!

But - another approach to consider when we’ve tried to change outcomes in our lives through prayer and failed, is to begin to realize that maybe, that’s not what prayer is all about in the first place. Maybe prayer is for something else; something more important; something deeper and more difficult to comprehend than getting an A on a test or keeping a relationship together. Maybe there is another way to look at prayer.

Since human beings have been walking upon this earth, we have sought the theological, the spiritual, the philosophical. In the Protestant theologian Paul Tillich’s terminology, “we seek the Ground of Being.” Why human beings have done since the dawn of humanity is because we have to. Just as some people are driven to use their minds to explore the physical unknown; just as people have natural instincts to feed, to care for, and to protect their bodies, humans (at least some humans) have a built-in need to connect with the spiritual. It is part and parcel of our very essence as humans. And it is prayer that enables us to connect to this part of who we are.

Human beings are by nature selfish creatures. Being selfish isn’t all bad. It is how we protect ourselves; how we manage through the difficult times in life; how we survive. The problem is that selfishness, when carried to the extreme, can be destructive.

Since humans first walked the earth, we have sought the spiritual, the ultimate, the Ground of Being. Though it has been defined and described in a thousand different religions, in a thousand different languages and cultures, it is still the same connection that is sought.

The problem is that human selfishness destroys the spiritual in the same way it destroys the person. Since religion has existed (and that is before the dawn of civilization) some human beings have taken religious and spiritual ideas and manipulated them for personal gain. Sacrifices, rituals, and prayers have emerged not as a means of spiritual connection with the force of creation, but as a means to alter daily events in a tribe, a person, or a nation’s life.

Sometimes people are religious as long as it serves their worldly purposes; so long as they see personal gain in following a particular religion. “I’ll go to the temple, pray and sacrifice to Yahweh so he will grant me more cattle, more wives, and more descendants.” “I will pray to Jesus so that he will forgive my sins and lift me to heaven in the rapture, when the end of the world comes and the rest of humanity is damned to hell.” “I will pray and sacrifice to Buddha that I may be reborn a wealthy man in my next life.” “I will pray to God so that I can get an A on the test, be lifted from my financial crisis, marry this particular person.”

What I am suggesting here is that prayer is not about any of these things at all. Prayer is about connecting with the source of all things, what we UU’s call that “transforming mystery and wonder affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of spirit and an openness to the forces that create and uphold life.” Prayer is not about material gain; it is about spiritual enrichment and enlightenment. It is about growing. It is about seeking. It is about connecting. It is about loving. The source of all things lies at the end of prayer. Prayer is the mechanism, the path, the bridge to that end. Prayer does not bring the material; it opens the way to the sacred. Prayer is the bridge across forever.

I mentioned some weeks ago the Great Neck Rabbi, Harold Kurshner who wrote the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”. As a professional clergy person, Rabbi Kurshner had experienced all the joys, tragedies, and human conflict that are inherent in the work of a rabbi, priest, or minister. “Pray to God”, he would say, “and he will bring you happiness and redemption”.

All was well until, one day, Rabbi Kurshner’s 11 old year son was diagnosed with Pellagra, a rare disease which causes the person to die quickly of old age. The rabbi’s son lived only a few more years. Kurshner was devastated. “I understand God why other people’s prayers don’t work in crisis, but God, I’m a good person and I’m a rabbi. How can you do this to me?”

It took years of soul searching through spiritual crisis, but Rabbi Kurshner came to the conclusion that prayer cannot and does not necessarily reap tangible, material, or physical change in personal or worldly events. At the same time, however, Rabbi Kurshner believed fervently in the value of prayer as it enables a person to connect with God and creation in new and profound ways.

At the core of all of the world’s religions is the call to prayer, a call to seeking that mystical connection which exists between self and other, however, that is defined, by culture, religion, or personality. (The muezzin’s call to prayer is an eerie and mystical sound.)

The most profound sacred literature which exists in all religions are prayers for spiritual connection with the divine, not supplications for worldly intervention. From the Hindu Upanishads to Native American spirit dances; from the Hebrew Psalms to the Muslim Qur’an, many writings and scriptures are a call to unity between the sacred and the human; between self and other.

So, let us re-ask the question: Can praying change your life, or change the world? I believe that the answer is emphatically, yes! Prayer can change you and it can change the world. Well, how can that be, you might wonder? I thought you just finished saying that prayer won’t get you that A on the test, or prevent financial crisis, or save a relationship?

To answer this, let me repeat. I do not think that prayer has any direct impact on the material or the physical. I don’t think that a God or gods reflects on my prayers or sacrifices and says, “O.K. he’s done enough this time, I’ll make sure he gets what he wants.” Rather, the value of prayer lies in establishing, developing, and enhancing one’s spiritual connection with all things, with the universe, with God, with whatever your outlook of the sacred is. That is what prayer does, and when and if you can touch the sacred, even a little bit, your world, your life, and your relationship to all things will change. It has too.

It’s like spending your whole work life trying to understand and solve problems with only your computer. It can work, but only to some extent. Then one day, you get connected to the internet; you get in touch with a whole lot more computers, a whole lot more resources. You learn and find new ways to deal with your problems.

The internet can change the way you work, and think, and act. That is what prayer is all about, only profoundly more so, because prayer is the connection to the ultimate internet. It is a connection to the oneness of all things, the interdependent web (site) of all existence, in UU terms.

The point is that if we feel a spiritual connection and feel spiritually healthy, our body, and our mind will necessarily work more efficiently.

As I have said to you before, human beings exist in three dimensions: body, mind, and spirit. In order to be healthy and happy there must exist balance and harmony between these three components of our being. If we are unhappy in mind or spirit, it will affect our bodily health.

If we are physically sick and our spiritual side is also out of balance, and we are able to re-establish spiritual happiness, there is a chance, a possibility (not a probability) that our physical sickness may be positively affected. It is common knowledge that spiritual unhappiness has a negative impact on our body and our mind. Prayer is the mechanism by which we restore spiritual well-being.

A lot of Unitarian Universalists have a hard time believing in God because when someone mentions the word God, they envision a kindly (or unkindly) white man with a beard and a staff sitting on the edge of a cloud and looking at his poor hapless children below.

A lot of Unitarian Universalists have a hard time believing in prayer because they think prayer is some mindless repetition of phases, perhaps combined with some strange ritual, which is designed to get that white man with the beard thinking more positively disposed to one’s apparently unhappy circumstance.

This image of God and of prayer works for some people, and that’s great. It doesn’t work for me. My perception of creation and the universe necessarily makes me define what is called God in very different terms. As I have told you, I see God more as the source and force, and oneness of all things. I see God as part and parcel of the universe – as ingrained in every piece of matter and energy in the universe.

This view of God necessarily causes me to approach the notion of prayer in quite a different manner. I do not see the act or ritual of prayer itself as an event which potentially pleases (or displeases) a seemingly hesitant God who waits for just the right mixture of ritual and intention before swinging into action to bring “his” love into my life.

Rather, I see prayer as the mechanism to develop one’s spiritual side. Prayer is the action, the event, the moment, by which we seek the spiritual. Prayers effectiveness reaches the spiritual. This may or may not reach the physical, the material.

In my work as counselor and as a chaplain during my internship for ministry, I have seen tremendous personal growth in people who pray in crisis. Sometimes it is crisis that brings one to prayer. Cynics would argue that prayer is nothing but the need to find a crutch in the middle of the crisis. (“There are no atheists in foxholes,” is the phase). This can be true, but it is most definitely not true for some people.

I’ve seen people bargain with God at the brink of death only to renege on their promises once death’s certainty passed them by. At the same time, however, I have seen people grow through crisis and through prayer into becoming truly loving and caring people. Prayer is one mechanism that makes this possible.

In some cases, prayer may be used by wishful thinkers and those who fear death. But prayer is also used by spiritually evolved people as an important method to connect with ultimate source of all things. Buddha, Jesus, and Mohammed all prayed and not because they feared death.

How we pray is a deeply personal thing. Just as the methods to develop spirituality vary considerably from person to person, so do the methods to pray.

The Hindu and Buddhist mantras which are recited during meditation; the use of the rosary in Roman Catholicism; the whirling of Muslim Sufi dervishes; the vision quest chants of Native Americans - all of these are mechanisms of prayer. Which one is right: all of them and none of them. It depends upon the person, their worldview, and the situation at hand.

Prayers become ritualized because ritual is a way in which all religions attempt to bring their adherents quickly from the mundane to the transcendent, from the secular to the sacred. Ritual prayer is prayer, but not the only form of prayer. Prayer can merely be a personal communion with the infinite, through words, through writings, through drawing, through music, through any side of human creativity.

Prayer can also be a way by which we call ourselves to connect with the universe and creation and to use all that we are to make the world a better place. Far from being selfish in motive as some prayers can be, this type of a prayer creates a personal selfless standard by which we hope to live and care and share. Consider the words of Saint Francis of Assisi:

Lord make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

To be understood, as to understand,

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying to self that we are born to life.

Reverend Christopher J. McMahon